So how DO you kidnap a string quartet?

No spoilers, you’ll have to read my debut novel for the fine details.

I can promise you it’s not easy. For a start there’s always four of them and there instruments can strike a hefty blow, particularly the cellist . If you do happen to overpower them, how do you transport them? Where do you keep them?

Yes of course they have rich families to blackmail, their a string quartet for a Gods sake, their parents will be lawyers or accountants . They won’t be oiks from a failing comprehensive school , the product of a one parent family.  On the positive side, they should be easily intimidated, they are classically trained musicians so unlikely to fight back.

Why do you think a rock band have never been kidnapped? All the ‘Big A’ had in my novel was a cousin (albeit a ‘made man’) and an English tourist. You’d need a full SAS platoon to kidnap Oasis for Example. The Sex Pistols, forget it unless you can obtain a dirty bomb.
Why would anyone want to kidnap a string quartet anyway? Well the ‘Big A’ had good reason and good intentions. If he would have asked nicely in the first place, who knows, they might have been at his ex wife’s bedside within the hour, playing their amazing version of the Beach boys classic ‘God only knows’. But then my book would have only been two pages long!

Discover the ‘Big A’s’ method in my debut novel How to Kidnap a String Quartet.

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